


Information Gathering

by Joyful



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-24
Updated: 2011-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:32:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyful/pseuds/Joyful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Burt realizes that Kurt is right, and he really should understand the mechanics of gay sex if he has a gay son.  So he goes to the Berrys to ask for advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Information Gathering

Burt Hummel stood awkwardly on Hiram Berry's front porch, twisting his baseball cap in his hands as he waited for his former classmate to come to the door. But even though he'd exchanged conversation with Hiram Berry maybe five times since they'd graduated high school twenty-five years ago, he knew he needed to talk to the man now. Because Kurt was right, a son should be able to ask his father about sex and ignorance was no reason for Burt not to be able to have 'The Talk' with his son. Burt hadn't worried about it for a long time, since Kurt didn't know any other gay boys, and he had seemed so very young for so many years. But finding Blaine in Kurt's bed had given Burt a wake-up call. The door opened and Hiram Berry was standing there. God, he looked old. Did Burt look that old?

“Berry,” Burt said.

“Hummel,” Hiram said in an even tone. “What can I do for you?”

“I need your help,” Burt said. “Or rather, I need your advice.”

Hiram Berry's eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Do come in,” he said, stepping aside. Burt walked in, and the house was a shrine to Rachel. Burt had lots of pictures of Kurt around, and now of Finn, but not to the level of the Berrys' decorating. “Now, please tell me, why should I help you? In the quarter of a century that we have been out of school, you've talked to me maybe five time. And when we were in high school you were too busy calling me 'faggot' and helping your buddies throw me into the dumpster to hold a conversation.”

“I'm sorry,” Burt said honestly. “I wish I could go back in time and beat some sense into my teenage self. Because I was a homophobic dick, and you didn't deserve it. I know it's been a long time coming, but I hope you can forgive me. I really have changed.”

“I know,” Hiram said. “One long conversation with my daughter after seeing you at a glee club event informed me of that. She says you're very accepting of Kurt.”

“I love that kid more than I ever thought was possible. I would tear down the world for him, like any dad, and it kills me that I can't protect him from assholes like m,” Burt said.

“Assholes like you were,” Hiram corrected. “The world's going to be rough on him, but I'm glad you've changed enough to give that child the love and support he needs. And yes, Burt Hummel, I forgive you for being an asshole twenty-five years ago.”

“I need your advice,” Burt said again.

“What on?” Hiram asked.

“I'm assuming you know that while you were away your daughter threw a party with alcohol and most of the glee kids got drunk?” Burt asked.

“Yes,” Hiram said. “Rachel is grounded for a month, nothing but classes and extra-curricular activities. No boys, and no hanging out with her friends outside of school.”

“That's sounds reasonable. My boys were smart enough to stay sober, but Kurt brought home another boy after the party, and let him stay in his room. Needless to say, walking into his room and finding a strange boy sleeping in my son's bed was a little unsettling. He told me nothing happened and I believe him, but I think it's definitely time Kurt and I had the sex talk.,” Burt said.

“So why do you need my advice?” Hiram asked curiously. “It sounds like you have everything under control.”

“I have absolutely no clue how to talk with my gay son about gay sex. I tried to do one of those google searches, but all the results were porn, and it really wasn't informative, at all,” Burt said.

Hiram started laughing and had to sit down. The image of his former bully googling gay sex was too much to take without falling into hysterics. Eventually he composed himself and looked at his former schoolmate.

“So, you want him to be informed and safe, but you have no idea where to start?” Hiram asked.

“Well, I'd be happy if he waited until he was in college,” Burt said, and Hiram nodded. Hiram had a teenager too, and Burt knew he understood. “But yes, if he's going to have sex, I want him to be safe.”

Hiram looked up as a tall, slightly younger black man walked into the room. Hiram stood and the two embraced, sharing a quick peck on the lips.

“Leroy, this is Burt Hummel. Kurt's father and Finn's stepfather,” Hiram introduced and Burt shook the man's hand.

“Ahh, yes,” Leroy said. “I believe we've met at a school function.”

“Yeah,” Burt said, “One of those glee things, probably.”

“So what are you two talking about?” Leroy asked.

“Burt has come to the realization that he needs to have the sex talk with Kurt, but doesn't know where to being,” Hiram explained. “He came here looking for advice.”

“Ahh,” Leroy said, again, looking Burt over. “Yes, I don't imagine you have a copy of _The New Joy of Gay Sex_ on your bookshelf.”

“Exactly. I want Kurt prepared for whatever he might want to do with another boy, but I don't actually know what two boys would do together,” Burt admitted.

“Well, when you were sixteen or seventeen, what did you do when you went out with girls?” Leroy asked.

Burt blushed as he remembered sneaking behind bleachers with girls, or being in the backseat of a car, getting awkward blowjobs and handjobs, and grinding up against Shirley, his high-school girlfriend.

“Two boys are going to do the same things that a boy and a girl do, only vaginal sex isn't really an option, and anal sex is more likely, though not all gay men enjoy that,” Hiram said simply, and while Burt felt beyond embarrassed, he was grateful for the information.

“The important thing is to make sure he knows to use condoms,” Leroy said. “It's incredibly common for gay boys to think they don't need them, just because neither can get pregnant. But there's a lot more to worry about than just pregnancy. AIDS, other STDs, and infections. I'll try not to be too descriptive here, but anal sex without a condom can cause infections for both parties. And one can get an STD from oral sex as well.”

“Really?” Burt asked.

“Yes,” Hiram agreed. “Definitely stress the importance of condoms. Not just for anal sex and oral sex, but even just for handjobs.”

“Lubricant is important as well,” Leroy said, “Because of chafing and tearing. Trying to have anal sex without enough lubrication can cause micro-tears, which can become infected. And if tearing goes untreated, it can cause sepsis.”

“Oh God,” Burt said, looking a little green.

“Definitely,” Hiram agreed. “From what I understand it's not a pleasant thing. But I guess what you need to remember is that Kurt is a 17-year-old boy, which means that sex is, most likely, pretty high on his mental to-do list. So when he gets a boyfriend, it's pretty likely—though not a given—that they'll start having sex before a teenage straight couple would. Because as you remember, girls are often more hesitant about sex than boys.”

“I hadn't even thought of that,” Burt said. “Maybe I can wrap the house in barbed wire and keep him in his bedroom.”

“We've definitely considered that with Rachel,” Leroy said. “Especially after this stunt she pulled last week, inviting her friends over and raiding the liquor cabinet.”

“Well, Finn tells me that Rachel got sick enough that she's sworn off alcohol forever, and that choir teacher of theirs gave them all his phone number, in case they ever fall off the wagon again.”

“Sometimes, I think that Will Schuester has his head in right,” Hiram said.

“Other times, not so much,” Leroy added, and all three men laughed.

“Yeah, from what I understand my son _and_ your daughter get bullied pretty badly, and Schuester just lets it happen,” Burt said.

“Rachel gets bullied?” Leroy asked, surprised.

“You didn't know?” Burt asked.

“She's never told us,” Hiram said. “I mean, I know our family still gets those phone calls sometimes, and the nasty words graffitied on the house or our cars, but I didn't know she was being bullied.”

“You should ask her,” Burt said. “I pulled Kurt out of that school because a homophobic bully threatened his life. I don't know if Rachel's bullying is as bad as Kurt's, but I know she gets picked on a lot.”

“Thanks for the tip, Burt,” Hiram said, as Leroy got up and retrieved a book from the bookshelf, before handing it to Burt.

“Here, take this. It should have enough information for you to give The Talk well enough,” Leroy said smiling at Burt. Burt looked at _The New Joy of Gay Sex_ and grimaced a little. Oh well, it might be uncomfortable, but as a father this was something he needed to do.

“Thank you both for the information,” Burt said. “When Rachel's no longer grounded, you should all come over for dinner.”

“That sounds good,” Hiram said. “I'll give you a call.”

Burt tucked the book under his arm, shook hands with both men, then walked out to his car. He didn't think this would be the last time he spoke to the Berrys. They could prove to be a good resource to help him raise his gay son. And, he thought to himself as he started his truck, they could prove to be pretty good friends.

*End*


End file.
